An Invitation to Pause

 

 

The invitation to pause is a blessing

It’s a reminder to our soul, our being, our self

That we need to slow down

That our hearts need a delve

 

It’s a day spent with our self

It’s a day spent with others

But mostly it’s a day spent promising

That despite life’s bothers

 

We need to reflect

The triumphs of the past year

The tribulations that made us stronger

And the memories we hold dear

 

The pause is not a luxury

It is not a good-to-have

It is a blessing given to us

For us to cherish and save

 

#PressPause #InstantPause #LifebyDanielle

The Role of Fear in our Lives

There is an old adage: There is nothing to fear but fear itself. It took me a long time to fully comprehend the truth of this – and only after I had new experiences, which terrified me initially.

 

Click here to read more of this article published in Executive Lifestyle.

Workplace Culture: How to be more human at work

We spend a lot of our childhood studying so that one day we can go to work. “Going to work” has become the epitome of what it means to be an adult. It defines responsibility, power and the ability to cope with the real world out there. 

Read more in my article published on Executive Lifestyle here.

8 tips to find the right retreat for you

Have you wondered what retreats are like and whether you should attend one?

Do you hear stories about people returning from retreats feeling rejuvenated and wonder just what they did?

If you are planning to attend one, how do you decide which one is best for you?

Read more here in my Executive Lifestyle article.

Task-based life versus life-based tasks

The routine sets in quickly. After the euphoria of a new year and setting of goals, we are soon sucked into “the daily grind” of our work and. New projects with looming deadlines build  and hover above our head.  All our well-meaning life goals seem to slip away slowly as we focus on the tasks on our hands. Before we know it, we are leading a task-based life rather than life-based tasks.  How do we keep our focus on our life goals while keeping on top of daily tasks?  It is simply a matter of how we can be congruent with our goals and tasks.  Here are 4 simple steps:

1. Start the morning doing one thing that takes you towards your goal.  So if your goal is to lead a healthy lifestyle, do your exercise in the morning before you start your daily routine.  Or if your goal is to read more, read for 10 minutes in the morning.  These small actions will make you feel that you have accomplished something that has contributed towards your goal even though the rest of day was a frazzle of tasks.
2. Look for ways in which your tasks could be relevant to your life goals.  Need to make a presentation at the next meeting?  Think about how this could contribute to your life goal of being more confident.  Need to organise the next company event? Look at how this could be relevant to your goal of improving on time management.  Some links may be tenuous but if we look carefully enough, there are bound to be lots of overlaps between tasks and life goals in many of the things we do at work.
3. Review your life goals quarterly.  If you feel that you are not making progress towards what you set out at the beginning of the year, adjust your tasks.  Some tasks may need to be adjusted or dropped completely.  While this may not be completely possible in a corporate environment, you can certainly have a conversation with your boss on the task or ask that the task be enlarged to help it be more meaningful for you.
4. Tell others about your life goals.  The more you talk about them, the more you will ensure that you have put in place the necessary steps to achieve your goals.  Telling people raises your accountability to yourself as you want to achieve what you have verbally committed to.

There is no zero sum game between a  task-based life versus life-based tasks. There is a possibility for both to co-exist and be congruent with each other if we are willing to make that connection.  The key is to be able to take a step back once in while and evaluate if you are truly going the way your set your course in the beginning of the year.

It only took an umbrella

I had been having a tense relationship with a colleague for some time. It was nothing personal but I felt she was just “sticking to the book” during her communication with me. When I requested for something, she would throw the rule book at me telling me why it could not be done. It was frustrating that I was only having “rules based” conversations with her and I started avoiding her.

Then one day, I stepped out of the office during lunch without an umbrella. As I was walking along an unsheltered walkway, I saw her approaching me from the opposite direction. “Looks like it might rain,” she said. “You’re not carrying an umbrella. Here, have mine,” she offered. I was taken aback by her generosity and immediately all the tension I felt about our relationship dissipated.

A single act of thoughtfulness had undone months of grudging sentiments. I felt like a tight knot in our relationship had loosened. Now I was more willing to listen to her point of view and engage her in a dialogue at work.

How many times are we blind sided by our perceptions of others? Such that it clouds our judgement and prevents us from having a meaningful conversation with them. Staying in the “I” mode is comfortable for us but prevents us from connecting with others. Here are some tips on connecting with others at every conversation.

1) Look in their eyes. Looking at people in their eyes is a respectful acknowledgement that you “see” them and are present to listen to them. Just having that moment of stillness can let the other person see that you are genuinely interested in them.

2) Think of connecting and you will. This is based on the principle of inevitability that if you believe you can connect with someone, you will undoubtedly find that connection.

3) It is not always about the other person, it is also about you. Think about what you got out of the conversation. Did it help you to move forward in your conversational skills? Or did it help you have a better awareness of yourself?

Be on the lookout for opportunities to have conversations with people – especially those you have an uncomfortable relationship with. It helps us to get over our blind spots and focuses our attention on what is critical. Be on the one offering the umbrella:)

Is honesty the best policy at work?

As leaders in organizations, is it better to wear your heart on your sleeve or to have an enigma about you? Are openness and honesty necessary in the work place? Do they help build a positive work culture or are they merely seen as good-to-haves? It’s hard to argue against honesty at work. Unfortunately however, we may sometimes give the wrong message with our words or actions. Take note of the following trip-ups that may be affecting how honest you appear to your colleagues :

1) When you start a sentence with “in my honest opinion…” does it mean that at other times you are not honest? Make that sentence taboo if you want to be seen as an honest person.

2) Think about how you can design the environment so that honesty becomes the norm and culture. For example, are you saying the same thing to everyone? Do you talk about others behind their back? Do you encourage open questions and feedback at meetings or during conversations?

3) As a leader, one way to assess if you are equally open and honest with everyone is to check if most people are able to articulate your vision somewhat accurately. Do most people feel that they “know you” and your “philosophy” about the company? Are they energized by your vision?

Honesty is a major factor in a leader’s credibility and ability to build trust. So keep an eye on it and ensure to align it to your core values.

3 secrets to jump start your new year

I have to admit that I am probably the most melancholy between 26 December and 1 January every year. It seems to be a no man’s land in the whole year. A period when we are revelling from Christmas parties and still looking forward to year-end get togethers. But at the back of my mind, I am constantly asking myself what I have achieved in the year. What have I not paid enough attention to. What promises have I not kept. And as I look to the new year, I know there a few things I need to get done. Yet there’s always a sense of foreboding that I may not be able to get it all done.

To jump start the new year, here are 3 steps that have helped me tremendously :

1) Be present for yourself. Focus on your breath whenever you are by yourself or even when you are with others. This simple act can help to centre your being any time.

2) Write. I used to say write a journal but now I think it doesn’t matter. As Long as you write something every day. Not sure what to write? Just answer these questions :
A) what choices did I make today?
B) what touched my heart today?

3) Read. It’s simple : if you are not reading, you are not learning. And we all know the benefits of reading and learning to fight Alzheimer’s and other mental illnesses. Plus reading is a great way to spend “me” time. By the way, I think reading is different from skimming articles on social media so try reading hard copies if possible 🙂

Try these and let me know how you get on:) happy new year!

Be your own best ally

We have experienced self doubt or have been critical about ourselves at some point in our career or life. Probably we felt we could not move forward or were stuck in a unresolvable situation. Whilst this may be considered normal and even “part and parcel” of life, a constant manifestation of self doubt can take a heavy toll on our emotional well-being.

Sometimes we devise coping mechanisms such as ignoring the issue or looking for evidence to confirm our self doubt. But this may not address the underlying issue – which if left unchecked can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. We need to remember that we are resourceful enough to build and be our own self ally :

1) Recognise and name self doubt. Acknowledge that there is a problem which could be impacting our emotional well- being. Acknowledging is the first step to addressing it.

2) Ask powerful questions to help move forward. Questions such as “what if this situation was solved? What would it look like?” “What am I learning in this situation?” “What are my beliefs?” “How could my beliefs be limiting me?” Powerful questions helps us see from a different perspective and helps us learn about ourselves.

3) Keep a journal. This simple act can help us to reflect and appreciate the small successes we have had each day. Over time, this keeps us observant and mindful of the present.

The steps above are simple and belie the power they have to help us become our own best ally. That is, we are able to deal with most of the self doubts and inner critic that may surface during our lives.

Taking charge of your time

Time is a gift all of us receive equally. Each day starts and ends in a 24 hour cycle. We all live within the same cycle of time. If that is so then why do we sometimes feel we have wasted precious time while other times we feel very productive? This could be due to our perception of time and what it does to us. As with all gifts, the gift of time can be badly misused if we are not careful. So what can we do?

1) Wake up early – really early. Start with 6am but aim for 5am ultimately. It may feel painfully early at first but you will get so much done before 9am. By 10am you will feel that you have achieved more than half a day of worth while others are just jump starting their day.

2) Work in time blocks. Tell yourself what you want to achieve that day, then break it down to 60minute blocks. 50 minutes of uninterrupted work and 10 minutes of break. Set a timer to remind you to take a break after 50 minutes.

3) Schedule “white space” in your diary. This is time for you to do nothing but be with yourself. Notice what you feel and think about when you are by yourself. Although it may feel uncomfortable at first, great sources of inspiration lies within you. Get used to you.